In her essay “Feminist Poetics and the Meaning of Clarity,”{ Rae Armantrout } questions the role of clarity or legibility in experimental women’s writing. Armantrout takes issue with the way women identify themselves in their writings with regards to the Lacanian symbolic order which really excludes rather than include women whom, unlike men, do not possess the phallic organ.

For Armantrout, if women identify themselves within the symbolic order it would necessarily mean that they have to transform themselves into the phallic image (and to my own mind, become or write as men). Looked at in this light, a woman who subscribes to the Lacanian order has, to Armantrout, misrepresented herself and perhaps other women in general. I wonder...Is this done intentionally? There seems to be some confusion and perhaps this is why Armantrout asks the question: “Does so-called experimental writing seek a new view of the self?” (295).

I think the answer is “yes.” Armantrout seems to arrive at the same answer herself for as her essay preceeds, one becomes aware of her preference for women/writers who place themselves outside the Lacanian "order" for in doing so, they are in fact resisting patriarchal conventions. Her explication of Sharon Olds' poem { The One Girl at the Boys Party } makes her stance clear. In Olds' poem, Olds has allowed the persona and daughter to enter the male dominated realm by, as Armantrout says, “using her daughter as a phallus.”

Clearly, Armantrout prefers exclusion from the symbolic order. Let us be “outsiders” then, she seems to be saying. One is also reminded of Virginia Woolf’s Three Guineas in which Woolf asserts that women are indeed a community of outsiders. Only by being outsiders, that is, by resisting the symbolic order can women truly clarify themselves.

Ran into an old friend from college today...brought back memories of my last couple of semesters there; memories more bad than good, perhaps best forgotten if only my "self" would allow them to be erased from my mind. Easier said than done. I nevertheless miss some of the friendships that were formed; friendships borne out of similar interests--hobbies, understandings about life, work, school, places visited together, dreams, hopes, concerns and misunderstandings too....

My friend and I use to be very close in college until "stuff" got in the way. Now, running into each other the way we did, we barely knew what to say or even where to start. We tried to get over the wedge between us but old hurts, betrayals, anger and unspoken thoughts got in the way. Perhaps we tried too hard, perhaps not enough; we both had changed.

in looking back I can honestly say that the "stuff" which ruined our friendship amounts to one word, WORDS. It's amazing really how one or two words can change a relationship irrevocably. The sheer force of words can translate into something crucial. Sometimes I think words speak more than actions rather than the other way around. But is doesn't matter does it? because both have consequences. The slightest word or action can change someone's entire world profoundly and a once budding relationship can become altered in ways that causes the whole thing to collapse. Our friendship fell apart because of words. Perhaps it was a blessing in disguise. Words, nevertheless, can have enormous effects and are often the catalyst for far reaching effects such as an unalterable friendship.

In other news: I was happy to learn of the new addition to Sadia's family--a precious baby girl! You go Sadia!

The news channels today were filled with talk of Bush's political strategy of focusing more on Iraq than on the declining American economy. Shibley Telhami (New York Times) observes: ''Powerful ideas are willingly accepted because they inspire, not threaten. Even those who are reluctant to embrace democracy...have understood the need to emulate much of America's economic approach lest they be left further behind. And in embracing a new economic approach, they have also unleashed a political process they will not be able fully to control. Ultimately, America's role is to assist in the spread of democracy and, above all, to inspire. Wars may simultaneously open up new opportunities for change, as in Afghanistan, and close others, as in Pakistan. But democracy cannot be dictated through war, especially when war is opposed by people of the region.'' Do we really want to be distracted by fears of going to war?

I came across { this } interesting article on upper eyelid surgery in the Asian-American community. The article pose the question: "In the realm of plastic surgery, where Jewish women undergo rhinoplasty and African Americans alter facial characteristics with nose jobs, lip reductions and skin lightening, it seems as if distinct ethnic features are treated as a handicap. The surgical technique to augment two flitting folds inspires debate in the Asian American community. Is it a sellout to western ideals of beauty, or is it a way to make an Asian face more, er, complete?"

On the Job front...last week I settled into my new job. It's been a while since I've worked a nine to fiver but I'm getting used to it. The commute from upper Manhattan is not so bad--well, except in the evenings getting home at rush hour. The trains are unusually crammed then. This evening two men almost got into a fight because one of them stuffed his bike into the already packed car and the front wheel grazed the other man's suit. An argument ensued and this caused the train to pause a lot longer than normal before easing out of the station. Much to my chagrin and other passengers as well, just as soon as the train doors were about to close, the man with the bike backed his bike out of the train while goading the other man to take him up on a challenge to take their fight outside on the platform.

Of course, the other guy didn't yield to the offer but just the same, the train would not pull out of the station until the doors were properly closed, thanks to the biker shoving his bike further into the car. As if that wasn't worst enough, there was hardly any room to even shift a leg because some other guy was traveling with a big leather chair; an office-type chair which, although he had managed to maneuver it into a corner of the car, it made it so that everyone seemed to be standing and holding on to the hand-rails at a slight angle. It was very uncomfortable. Fortunately however, the discomfort eased greatly when the man with the bike got off the train three stops later and although more people piled in, there was still enough room to at least breath. Thank God the air conditioning was working!

Well, I'm off for the night. Sleep beckons. Goodnight.