~AbanDoned X-preSsionz | Exploring Hypertext Journaling~ by Carla
Monday, August 12, 2002

.:: The Dangling Shoes ::.

High above the rooftops in the neighborhood in which I live, hang hundreds of shoes on powerlines, from one post to the next. You can see them dangling by their laces sometimes in pairs or sometimes singularly, year in year out--season to season like now; scorched and worst for wear under the blazing eye of the New York summer sun.

If one observes closely, they are usually hung in lose proximity to each other, tons of them it seems like, in the sections in my neighborhood where children play basketball on the sidewalk by the corner bodegas, and where men gather outside all day long playing dominoes.

I've always wondered at this peculiar sight--it's as if exhibition of shoes have a statement to make. There are times when one or two find their way to the ground, as if having had enough of hanging around. Who hung them there? When? How? Why? are questions I always ask myself when on some days I bother to take more notice of them than on other days when I get on with life. Yet, the mystery of them until today at least, has always been a mystery etched in my mind.

Today I came upon an old man sitting on a wooden chair outside the corner bodega and I approached and asked him what the shoes meant by hanging there. He summoned someone from the store at which two men came out and to whom he posed the question in Spanish...soon the mystery of the dangling shoes was solved.

"We have put up many shoes" said one, "to honor the men, women and children who died in the streets. They are our friends and family" the other said as best he could in English. "I've seen my friend hit by a car, and a little girl fall out the window" he went on, "so we save their shoes and hang them late at night to remember them."

So if you my friend, who is reading this, ever happen to visit my neighborhood in West Manhattan in New York, and you come across shoes dangling from their laces high above the rooftops on powerlines and now on trees, and sometimes even a dead bird's freshly feathered body is wedged somewhere between remember, they are reminders of the dead and buried of the streets.

Sunday, August 11, 2002

Here in This Unreal City...


Based On T.S. Elliot's "The Waste Land"
By ::: Carla Scarlett

||"What are the roots that clutch, what branches grow
Out of this stony rubbish? Son of man,
You cannot say, or guess, for you know only
A heap of broken images, where the sun beats
And the dead tree gives no shelter, the cricket no relief
And the dry stone no sound of water ..."||

T.S.Eliot

New York/West Side/Harlem



Here-- in this unreal city

Roams the shadow of mankind.

It passes darkly...here, there,

Leaving silence in its wake.

Dear reader, can you hear anything? nothing?

But the silent--endless noise?

Listen! I can hear the inner, silent, everlasting cries and whispers

Of children who must bear with IT

What curious faces they wear--

Masks in front of lifeless faces-feigned happiness.
A sham! They play the Game until

The Game plays them.

life/death. (Peek a Boo!)

Unreal City-- Death wins often.

But Rejoice

Make your tribute for they were brave. Carla Scarlett

|| "Come in...I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handfull of dust...
Unreal city, under the brown fog of a winter dawn... "||

T.S. Eliot The Wasteland

What shadow now emerge?

What draft blows? Listen!

I hear frantic praying, souls of immortal misery,

begging. The silent voices for want of relief tears at my soul.

Wives, Mothers beseeching--Husbands and Fathers requesting,

oh ego! And there appears epidermal

scars, bandaged;

Damaged psychs on hold;

madness un/bounded.

Oh Promethean City
Populated with burnt souls--Relieve!

Here--in this Unreal City A shadow of mankind roams.Carla Scarlett

Copyright (c) 2000, 2001, 2002


And The Eye Watched...

Posted by memo at 8:26 PM

What I saw when I stepped into the Great Hall were rows and rows of books mounted on shelves against tiled walls which spanned every inch the corridor. I suddenly felt small--insignificant.

It was as if this vast hall of books from the smallest; those lined at the very base of the wall, to the largest; those lined on high which stopped short of blocking the menacing bright eye of the circular glass ceiling towering above them, had all been interrupted. I, the intruder of this eternal gathering, stood there, frozen, in what seemed like an eternity but which you might better understand as a stolen moment in time, to survey the enchanted spectacle in front of me.

I, a lone figure among giants of history-Faust, Bakhtin, Dickens, Woolf, Auden, Lawrence, Williams, Pound, --oh God I can't remember anymore! But I now felt as if I were on trial. I sensed my own life's history being called into question; being rapidly scrutinized and deciphered by each an every one of "them". The could feel the eye above piercing my very soul. Something escaped me, a gasp I think, as I gazed upon the gathering. I felt chapters of my life ooze out from me, extracted and beyond my grasp. I sensed chapters of my life being recorded among infinite others by these giants; these keepers of stories.

If you had been there you would understand me. It would make sense to you when I say that I am now cast upon pages; that I am in-between; I am both hard and soft-bound; written and recorded, remembered and forgotten. I encompass the past, present and future...You see, if you had been there...if you could find it, this Great Hall, you would know what I mean. I happened upon it and could not leave until I had been judged and taken note of.

And the eye watched.

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