| ~AbanDoned X-preSsionz | Exploring Hypertext Journaling~ by Carla |
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Yadda Yadda...
memo
23:45h
Ran into an old friend from college today...brought back memories of my last couple of semesters there; memories more bad than good, perhaps best forgotten if only my "self" would allow them to be erased from my mind. Easier said than done. I nevertheless miss some of the friendships that were formed; friendships borne out of similar interests--hobbies, understandings about life, work, school, places visited together, dreams, hopes, concerns and misunderstandings too.... My friend and I use to be very close in college until "stuff" got in the way. Now, running into each other the way we did, we barely knew what to say or even where to start. We tried to get over the wedge between us but old hurts, betrayals, anger and unspoken thoughts got in the way. Perhaps we tried too hard, perhaps not enough; we both had changed. in looking back I can honestly say that the "stuff" which ruined our friendship amounts to one word, WORDS. It's amazing really how one or two words can change a relationship irrevocably. The sheer force of words can translate into something crucial. Sometimes I think words speak more than actions rather than the other way around. But is doesn't matter does it? because both have consequences. The slightest word or action can change someone's entire world profoundly and a once budding relationship can become altered in ways that causes the whole thing to collapse. Our friendship fell apart because of words. Perhaps it was a blessing in disguise. Words, nevertheless, can have enormous effects and are often the catalyst for far reaching effects such as an unalterable friendship. In other news: I was happy to learn of the new addition to Sadia's family--a precious baby girl! You go Sadia! The news channels today were filled with talk of Bush's political strategy of focusing more on Iraq than on the declining American economy. Shibley Telhami (New York Times) observes: ''Powerful ideas are willingly accepted because they inspire, not threaten. Even those who are reluctant to embrace democracy...have understood the need to emulate much of America's economic approach lest they be left further behind. And in embracing a new economic approach, they have also unleashed a political process they will not be able fully to control. Ultimately, America's role is to assist in the spread of democracy and, above all, to inspire. Wars may simultaneously open up new opportunities for change, as in Afghanistan, and close others, as in Pakistan. But democracy cannot be dictated through war, especially when war is opposed by people of the region.'' Do we really want to be distracted by fears of going to war? I came across { this } interesting article on upper eyelid surgery in the Asian-American community. The article pose the question: "In the realm of plastic surgery, where Jewish women undergo rhinoplasty and African Americans alter facial characteristics with nose jobs, lip reductions and skin lightening, it seems as if distinct ethnic features are treated as a handicap. The surgical technique to augment two flitting folds inspires debate in the Asian American community. Is it a sellout to western ideals of beauty, or is it a way to make an Asian face more, er, complete?" On the Job front...last week I settled into my new job. It's been a while since I've worked a nine to fiver but I'm getting used to it. The commute from upper Manhattan is not so bad--well, except in the evenings getting home at rush hour. The trains are unusually crammed then. This evening two men almost got into a fight because one of them stuffed his bike into the already packed car and the front wheel grazed the other man's suit. An argument ensued and this caused the train to pause a lot longer than normal before easing out of the station. Much to my chagrin and other passengers as well, just as soon as the train doors were about to close, the man with the bike backed his bike out of the train while goading the other man to take him up on a challenge to take their fight outside on the platform. Of course, the other guy didn't yield to the offer but just the same, the train would not pull out of the station until the doors were properly closed, thanks to the biker shoving his bike further into the car. As if that wasn't worst enough, there was hardly any room to even shift a leg because some other guy was traveling with a big leather chair; an office-type chair which, although he had managed to maneuver it into a corner of the car, it made it so that everyone seemed to be standing and holding on to the hand-rails at a slight angle. It was very uncomfortable. Fortunately however, the discomfort eased greatly when the man with the bike got off the train three stops later and although more people piled in, there was still enough room to at least breath. Thank God the air conditioning was working! Well, I'm off for the night. Sleep beckons. Goodnight. ... Link
Distractions
memo
01:08h
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... Link
It is an overcoat day--bleaky and almost winter-like. A certain chill being pushed by a quiet wind has wounded its way through the air to mask the summer heat. It began last night and was unusually cold for a summer's night.
It is also unusually still. The constant buzzing of the air conditioners nestled into the various apartment windows of the building, in single file from top to bottom like marching soldiers, has stopped. Puddles of water settle on the ground.
Haven't heard the birds all morning nor the hissing neighborhood cats always quarelling outside for tidbits of food and other scraps. I lean out the window to observe then sometimes. They are pretty cute but hungry and skittish. They scramble to their little hideouts at the least sound. If you whistle to them or sound the usual cat call they look about madly, poised to run. But today, they are nowhere in sight. It really is quiet.
I wonder if Nature has made some kind of ghastly mistake but then, given the eratic nature of Nature, I know there is no mistake. It just is. Nature or God has commanded it so. Of course I'm not complaining just contemplating... I've been dying for the tentacles of the scorching heat to let go and it finally has.
The City can rest easy today. It probably is a great day for shopping downtown but I'll stay in and laze about the house. It's a great day for playing scrabble. I smile now as I think of the play on words between "scrabble" and "scramble" especially because HE usually says: "Let's play scramble!" Anyhow, last night I didn't join the others to play, didn't really feel like thinking and I like to win. I win now and again. But today, the unusualness of the weather inspires me.
I'll finish reading G.K. Chesterton's piece: On Lying In Bed. It's a pretty short essay in comparison to a short story and I've only gone through the first few paragraphs having liked thus far how he explains the great art of lying in bed. "Lying in bed" he says, "would be an altogether perfect and supreme experience if only one had a colored pencil long enough to draw on the ceiling...Michael Angelo was engaged in the ancient and honorable occupation of lying in bed that he...realized how the roof of the Cistine Chapel might be made into an awful imitation of a divine drama that could only be acted in the heavens." That, I'll finish reading today. Still haven't seen the cats...Perhaps today it will rain.
... Link
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