~AbanDoned X-preSsionz | Exploring Hypertext Journaling~ by Carla

Women Beware the English Male!

This seems to be { Leah McLaren's } warning after her few "typical" dates with English men who are purported to be, as Leah states, "the worst lovers on the planet."

The Excerpt:

"After going out with roughly a dozen single men in London" says Leah who moved from Canada to the UK, "I have come to the conclusion that the modern English male knows little to nothing about courtship, and what he does know frightens him."

She states moreover that "The most common English male dating crime by far is the Non-date Date. This is a strange ritual wherein the English male asks a woman out on a date without indicating that he has any romantic inclinations towards her. Any overt demonstration of desire might make her think he likes her — this is verboten. The Non-date Date is initiated in various sneaky, cowardly ways, but the preferred method is text messaging. Let me preface this by explaining that in North America the typical situation is this: you meet a guy at a party and exchange numbers. A few days later he calls you up and asks if you would like to have dinner with him. In England things are different. You meet a guy a party and exchange numbers. A few days later you get a text message that reads something like ‘Out 4 drnks 2nite in W11 — wnt 2 join?’ "

"...While the English man beats nervously around the bush, the American suitor goes for the female jugular...If single men wish to find some common ground with their female compatriots, they would be well-advised to overcome their fears. Let me put this message in a more accessible format for the English male: LRN 2 WLTZ. "

... Link


../To A lover

DEAR LOVER

LAST NIGHT I HEARD YOU WHISPER IN MY EAR AND THEN YOU TASTED MY LIPS.

I WAS ON FIRE.

I IMAGINED ME KISSING YOUR LIPS, YOUR EAR,

THE NAPE OF YOUR NECK

AND THE SMALL OF YOUR BACK

RIGHT DOWN TO YOUR TOES.

I COULD FEEL THE WARMTH OF YOUR EMBRACE.

THE FIRE INSIDE YOU RAGED

YET, YOU TOOK YOUR TIME NOT TO RUSH,

SAVORING ME AND THE MOMENT LIKE A VINTAGE WINE.

AND WHEN MY LEGS BUCKLED YOU HELD MY HANDS.

I IMAGINED THAT I STROKED THE CURLS OF YOUR HAIR...THAT

THE SHYNESS I SAW IN THE SMILE ON YOUR LIPS TASTED LIKE

WINE-COVERED CHOCOLATE CANDY BARS AND ...

AND YES,

AS I KISSED YOUR LIPS

YOU WERE LOVING ME...

GENTLY, SOFTLY, LOVING ME

AND CATERED TO YOU, YOUR BODY,

YOUR WHIMS, YOUR FANTASIES BUT OH LOVE

I WAS AWAKENED...I AWAIT YOU.

{ And the evening and the night were the first day }.

YOUR LOVER, ..//

... Link


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